Some important dates have been mentioned in the story of Lisa’s life and I will always think of her on her birthday January 19th, her and John’s anniversary August 15th and on December 25th, the day on which in 1990 she welcomed me into the family, and on which many times in subsequent years we had such warm and wonderful big family Christmas celebrations around the table.
There is another date which I will always associate with my lovely mother-in-law’s life, which runs like a thread through the lives of our two families and pulls us together: that is May 23rd.
On May 23rd 1937, the SS Habana docked in Southampton, carrying little 7-year-old Elisita along with over 3,800 strangers to a land she might well not have heard of before, full of strangers speaking a strange language. A great expanse of sea between her and her family. How scary that must have been!
That same day, May 23rd 1937, was the 21st birthday of my grandmother, Ivy Ing. At the time she was 7 months pregnant with her first child, who would become my father.
I know Ivy was looking forward to starting her family, being a mother. She will almost certainly have read about the arrival of the poor Basque refugee children and – in the warm glow of impending motherhood – have pitied the poor children who were without their mothers and families.
As we heard, Lisa did incredibly well in such difficult circumstances, met the love of her life John, stayed on – and had Sue and Karen, my lovely sisters-in-law – and Paul, the love of my life.
On my side of the family, my lovely mum came as a teenager from Austria to England, met my dad, stayed on and had me. Many years later, Paul and I went out to work in Germany on different contracts, met there and never looked back – but have often thanked our lucky stars for the choices our mothers made.
On May 23rd 2020, exactly 83 years later, the family was expecting to come together to celebrate Becky and Jamie’s wedding – but another historical event of great magnitude had struck and cruelly kept them separated across a great expanse of sea, too: Covid.
I think Covid was a scary experience for all of us – but most of us had the benefit of family and/or partners around us, to allow hope to outweigh the fear. But not Lisa on May 23rd 1937, nor her grandson on May 23rd 2020.
Happily, Becky and Jamie’s wedding celebration did happen, in January of this year – and Lisa was there to celebrate with us, also to hold her first great grandchild in her arms.
I am sure you will all agree that Lisa was simply one of the warmest and most welcoming people you could ever hope to meet. She could not allow a person to sit lonely in a corner. Perhaps her experience as a 7-year-old shaped her – and certainly she has created a warm and welcoming family. What better legacy could there be?
Beautiful on the outside and on the inside, I’m grateful to have had Lisa as my mother-in-law – and will miss her, as we all will.
Sue Webber